Showing posts from 2012

Subconscious Consciousness

I saw him in the bar with his friend. To ignore or not to ignore? I thought I would continue the tradition of acting like he didn't exist as I knew he would in return, but this time was different. He looked awful. I could tell he was drunk, possibly more drunk than I had ever seen him when we were together. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was positively leering over these young girls in the bar, wandering around, trying to connect with someone...anyone. His hair was dull and he even had some dried snot on his face. I was disgusted. His friend looked rather listless and did nothing to prevent him from acting so pitifully.

And then it happened. We made eye contact. Instantly his face lit up and he bounded over to me as if we were old friends. It had been months. We never spoke one word to each other. No texts, phone calls, e-mails. Blocked on Facebook, Instagram, all social media. He practically didn't exist. We both had new partners in our lives.

How easily the irrep…


First of all, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm remembering all the reasons why I love my life and what I've done so far. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and shown me love over the years. You are truly amazing and you know who you are!

Now on to the topic at hand...I haven't been writing as often as I used to, but it's because a lot has happened to me over the past few months and I've been trying hard not to completely reveal my love life and/or frustrations therewith in such a public way. However, there are times when I feel like I just can't help myself and then I post away with reckless abandon.

Today, Thanksgiving Day, has made me feel thankful for all the experiences I've had with men, dating and relationships because I have learned a lot about myself and the ways of the world (which I still think are fucking perplexing as all hell and will probably never understand). I've been w…

Ich bin eine Rose

Last night marked a momentous occasion in my life. I got a new tattoo. This tattoo holds so much meaning and represents so many different things, some of the things I might not even be aware of yet. It represents strength, beauty, passion, perseverance, melancholy and pain.

It says "I am a rose" in German. Delicate yet thorny, beautiful yet guarded, wild yet familiar. This tattoo is the dawn of a new era, a new Tina. Love me, but be careful. Fuck with me, you will get hurt.

Thanks to Yessenia's uncle Mario for the impeccable work and Chris for moral support!

Ode to Jon

On the eve of the much anticipated election, my friend and I were discussing politics, Mormons and Jon Stewart. I have not had cable TV, let alone basic TV stations since I moved out of home almost 10 years ago, but whenever I could I would watch the Daily Show, sometimes online, but mainly when I was at my mom's house visiting or with my friends if they had cable. I fell in love with him because of his style, the ease with which he puns and jokes his way through his show, his witty quips and almost bipolar news anchor personality when interviewing guests.

Our discussion took place on the way to the movies and upon returning home and falling into sweet slumber, I had a dream about Jon Stewart. I was in what appeared to be a high school auditorium and towards the front, dead center near the stage, sat none other than Jon. Brow furrowed, head bowed, he was scribbling furiously into a note pad, oblivious to the world around him. Since the seats were empty, I decided to make a bold m…

No Chance

I stumbled across this interesting article on the German news site, Die Welt, about online dating. Those fortunate enough to understand the German language can read the article directly here:

Dating Site Deletes Member Profile

For those of you who don't speak German, I will paraphrase the article here:
A young German woman decided to join the dating site, the German equivalent of They described how single life can be difficult listening to couples talk about kids, spending too many Sundays alone hanging around the apartment, awkwardly standing around with the Champagne glass on New Year's Eve while everyone else kisses and last but not least, going on countless dates with guys you wouldn't even have to look at in better times.

First of all, they make it sound like all single people are boring and have no friends. None of those scenarios apply to me at all, except for perhaps the last one, but I digress...

The young woman filled out her profile, pu…

The Tale of the Two Teds

One evening, not too long ago, a very beautiful woman named Sharon decided to go out for a night on the town. She visited all of the local hot spots, including one of the most popular venues located in the city center. There was music, dancing and lots of drinking. The drinking made her a bit more bold. Still licking her wounds from a devastating but much necessary break up, her liquid courage fortified her for the long night. She spotted a very tall, dashing, hipster looking gentleman and decided to sit down next to him and strike up a conversation.

"Is this seat taken? My name's Sharon," she said, her eyes sparkling and her smile dazzling. The gentleman responded immediately to her beauty.

"My name's Ted." They shook hands and Sharon knew it was going to be a great night. Her friends and his friends converged into one group, many drinks were consumed and many laughs were enjoyed. The conversation was flowing and at the end of the night, Ted suggested the …

Boring is Good

I'll admit, my last post was a bit vague, but I mean what I say. Flavored condoms are a no-no.

I went to the lady doctor for a routine check up and safe sex was brought up in casual conversation, as it usually is. There were little condom lollipops in all the colors of the rainbow stuck to the wall. I chuckled appreciatively. Then one of the nurses, or perhaps even the doctor herself, mentioned that they had flavored condoms. Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry and Mint. Word on the street was, Strawberry and Mint were the better options. So I said, "what the hell?" (literally - I said that) and went for a strip of Strawberry and a strip of Mint. The doctor said they would be good until 2016 and I replied I would have no problem using them by them. SHE chuckled appreciatively and maybe (fake?) gagged a little. I went home with these 8 little wonders in my purse and was appropriately curious and a smidge excited to try them out.

However, when the opportunity presented itself,…

Strawberry Mint

New flash! This just in...


That is all.


I stumbled upon a little gem today in my daily internet surfing at work to avoid actually toiling away at my cubicle. Thanks to the Changing Hands Bookstore, conveniently located a little over a mile from my house in Tempe, I discovered that there are men who actually are trying to help women. Why, I don't really know. Dating, relationships and just getting to know people in general has, is and will always be a completely mind boggling process. Unless you are the most honest and open person, you will never truly know what anyone is thinking. You can perhaps get close, but unless Professor Snape is lurking about with a little bottle of clear liquid, I repeat: you will never truly know what is going on in someone's mind. Sometimes I speak what I think is the truth at the moment, but I don't really know what's true. Feelings, emotions, opinions, preferences are as changeable as the weather in Chicago. I constantly change my mind and I know that most people are like this a…

Lennon Lover

It has been a long while since my last post, but what better way to start up again than to commemorate John Lennon's 72nd birthday?

On this very day, 72 years ago, in the midst of a horrific war, John Winston Lennon was born in Liverpool, England. Unfortunately he was tragically taken from us too soon, but it is better to have Lennoned and lost, than never to have Lennoned at all.

I absolutely love this man. He was quite the odd one but his music, his writings, his musings and his legend will live on for many years. There's just no denying he had talent. I'm going to spend the day listening to his music and watching a Beatles movie or two in honor of the man I love so dearly. For those of you who share this love, please enjoy the following links. For those of you who don't know much or don't know anything about him, check them out anyway. You won't be sorry!

For your viewing pleasure:
John Lennon's "Imagine"

For your reading pleasure:
John Lennon&#…

Phase 1

The early stages of dating someone are always the best. You get to learn so much about that person and find out some really awesome things if you're lucky. Sometimes you can find out some not so good things, but I suppose you win some, you lose some. I happened to find out some pretty awesome things and I like how everything has been progressing. It's been a slow but more natural process.

The guy in question is kind of different. He's like me in a lot of ways and it's surprising how we have lots of things in common that I wouldn't have expected. His geekiness parallels mine, but he's also a pretty cool dude. I like our intelligent conversations and witty text banter, but the most amazing thing so far has to be the fact that we were spouting out Beatles movie quotes at breakfast one morning. I've never met another person who was pacified as a child by watching Beatles movies. Simply amazing. Perhaps I have met my male Beatles enthusiast (aka freak) counterp…


Hey, everyone! It's been a long time coming but my second post is up on the "WTF Is Up With My Love Life?!" site. I would really appreciate it if you checked it out. The site is really entertaining and offers so many perspectives on relationships of all types. And of course by reading my post you're offering your continued support to my fledgling writing career ;)

This one is dedicated to all the women out there still searching for their prince. Keep your chins up, it will happen someday!

Thanks and happy reading!

Click Here for the Awesome Post About Some Bad Dates!

Roller Coaster Relationships

It's funny how two very different people can come to the same conclusion about your relationship, albeit in different ways. My last relationship went downhill and towards the end we were both floundering. Why I ever got back together with the guy is now a mystery to me. At major break up #1 - where it REALLY should have ended - a friend of mine, a fiery redhead from Boston, who I met through the guy, knew some of the details of our relationship. She knew him and his issues really well and she saw how unhappy I was. She told me a million times I could do better (and that's honestly not hard) and gave me the wisest piece of advice which I wish I had been smart enough to listen to and comprehend at the time. She told me you can never go back in a relationship. It's so true. Once something has come to an end, if you have no true ties to that person (marriage, kids, pets, a house, etc.), it needs to be over.

At the final break up - where it ACTUALLY ended (too many months too …

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Some people make me sick. Especially when they've lied to you for so long. You can just tell that something is off, but at the time it's hard to pinpoint. Hindsight is always crystal clear. Ain't that a bitch? Better to figure it out than be lost at sea forever, I suppose.

Relationships are never perfect and there has to be some work and maintenance involved in order for them to be sustainable, but lies are just hurtful and wrong. I've had to own up to some really horrible and difficult things in my relationships (readers, they would really shock you about me...maybe someday I'll be brave enough to divulge), but I had the courage to say I fucked up or that I wasn't happy. Sometimes it took me a while to spit it out, but in the end, if you hold things back, you're not only hurting yourself, but your "significant" other. I'm not saying I can't lie like Washington or that I have no filter, but if it's something big, I can't hold it ba…

Bros Before Hos

Sometimes I forget that the most important relationships in life are friendships. Romantic partners may come and go, especially at this stage in my life, but friends will always be there to love and support you. They meet up with you for drinks, chill and watch movies with you in PJs, give you advice (whether or not it's useful or solicited), go to the dog park with you, help you stay in shape, boost up your confidence, make you laugh your ass off and even help you practice safe sex (thanks Kinga and Che - you both are life savers). Even though my time in Arizona has been fraught with stress and uncertainty, I've met some amazing people here and am glad to say that although I miss my friends back home terribly, I'm happy to have made awesome friends here too. I know that whenever I make my triumphant return home, my friends will be happy to see me and I them. That's how true friendships work. You always somehow seem to fall back into step with the friends you truly lov…

Shameful Shenanigans

This weekend was fun with a side of rough, but I actually learned some things and educational, reality check moments are always fun. And perhaps these are things I already knew, but they were on my mind.  Here there are, in no particular order:

1.) People do stupid shit. It's a fact.
2.) The stupid shit can sometimes make you experience feelings of guilt or shame. It's completely normal, but nothing to beat yourself up over.
3.) There is nothing wrong with having a drunken night of fun and waking up in someone's bed. Most people have done it. My friends reassured me I'm normal and should be proud of myself for the shenanigans of the weekend.
4.) Doing cartwheels drunk is not a good idea. Refer to point #1.
5.) Apparently I talk about my ex boyfriends a lot. But when I'm single and dating, I compare the new guys to the old ones. So get over it, Sloan ;)
6.) When I'm single (and even when I'm not), I focus too much on wanting to find the right guy. There is n…

Just Do It

Humble readers, it's been a while and I apologize. I have been focusing on some personal issues and wasn't ready to write until now. This post is dedicated to a wonderful lady who I love and thank for all her support! :)

Last night I talked to my friend about men and my experiences with online dating. Ofttimes it is a perplexing labyrinth of mixed signals and lackluster messages. Why did a guy in California write to me to tell me I'm the hottest girl in Phoenix and then in subsequent messages act enigmatic? I don't understand why someone who is not in your area would write to you. Maybe if you're coming to visit and want to hook up? But just out of the blue like that? A compliment is a compliment, I suppose. Why did a guy write to me and ask the intelligent question "Want cock?". Clearly he did not read my profile. He just liked my alluring pictures and wanted to, in the common vernacular, hit me up. But then I started it so wrong for a guy …

Giggle Gals

Never underestimate the power of a cute guy. At work, a new employee caused quite a stir. A bunch of adult women, all of whom are married, were reduced to a gaggle of gigglers. I was also caught up in the good looks and easy charm, and it turns out he's actually an incredibly nice man who has lived an interesting life. However, he is married and has 4 kids. Of course. He and his wife started very young - he was 23, she was 21. He said that he will be 49 when his youngest turns 20. He and his wife will be able to retire young and enjoy the rest of their lives together living in comfort. How do people so young seem to have their shit together like that?

I think it's because they're LDS (or was it LSD?). You're raised a certain way, you fit into a certain mold. You go on missions, get married, make babies and live a cookie cutter lifestyle. Although, after talking to the gentleman at length, I realized his life sounded nothing at all like a cookie cutter life. I guess it&…

Go Fish

A few gems for your amusement from the recent POF vault...

7/29/2012 12:15:28 AM
"Damn you are sexy, wish you were here in my arms........"
(after no response)
8/1/2012 11:25:54 AM
"Wish you were in my arms as I slowly kiss you"

Is that how it works? Thanks for spelling it out for me. Douche.

7/30/2012 7:11:50 PM
"Dam u r sezy"

If you knew how to spell maybe I'd say thank you. But you're a massive, lazy tool. 

7/31/2012 2:05:51 AM
"Oui! Vive la France! Liberté, égalité, fraternité!!!"
(the caption to my sexy picture reads "I felt like a French stewardess for some reason. Vive la France!")

Apparently he lived in France but I'm pretty sure Google was involved. I thought I had found a génie. 

I suppose I should feel bad for showing my friends at work the messages and laughing hysterically to the point of almost crying. Sigh. This is why after a few weeks of this shit, I bail. Although it is just so funny.


Almost Famous

This blog has been a cathartic and wonderful outlet for me. Ofttimes I ramble, but I usually try to make a point about relationships, dating, men, etc. I'm eventually going to use my blog and my handwritten journals for a book about my hilarious and emotional times as a dating woman. Deep down inside I was hoping for something good to come out of it and slowly but surely, I feel it happening. An editor from the website "WTF Is Up With My Love Life?!" read some of my posts and now I'm guest blogging for them! This is truly an exciting moment for me.

For now, I will be sharing the link to the site, which you will find below:

Tina's exciting debut into professional writing?

Read my post, check out the site and let me know what you think! Thanks, readers!!!

Rules of Attraction

Perhaps it's Murphy's Law, the law of averages or the Pythagorean theorem, but why is it that when you stop caring about something, that something seems to happen? Many times I've found myself wanting to be in a relationship so badly, yet the men I would meet left me doubting I'd ever find someone well suited enough to be with me. However, the SECOND I say, fuck it, Männer sind Schweine, that's when the magic happens. I thought the more you wanted something, the harder you'd work to make it happen, right? The American Dream and all that b.s. Nope, not for this chick. It's so strange. I think the older I get, the less I care so I must be exuding more confidence than usual.

I still think that I'll run away to Europe and find my dream man - a Mr. Darcy, Benedict Cumberbatch type. A tall, handsome, well dressed, bumblingly charming British man. With the Olympics in London, the city is calling out to me much louder than usual. But in the mean time, I'll …

POF = Plenty of Freaks?

I joined POF last night. And already I'm thinking that might have been a BIG mistake. But this is what happens when I get bored. I'm like my mother. Seriously. Give us some idle time and we do an online dating blitz. I'm beginning to think it's just a vicious cycle. I mostly get uninspired, sometimes lewd messages. It's amusing but after a while I see the same people and the searching through scores of terrible men gets old, so I delete my profile. A few months later, I'm back.

And seriously, readers...Why do men ask for naked pictures? What am I? Stupid? If I don't know you, why the hell would I text you a picture of myself naked? I never even did that for my boyfriends.

Let the games begin.

Batman and Bros

Yesterday was an epic day. Seeing "The Dark Knight Rises" in IMAX felt like a life changing cinematic experience. I cried, I shrieked, I laughed, I cheered, I came out of the theater feeling like I was high. The quote of the night became "I Joseph Gordan Loved It!" because I realized just how much I love Joseph Gordan-Levitt.

Yes, please! Where can I find me one of these????

But to get to the point of my post...after the movie, which I watched with a group of friends, we went back to my place and enjoyed the rain, drank some wine and discussed the film. Then we went to Casey's for a delicious dinner and adult beverages and continued to discuss various topics. Two of my friends left, one of them being the only other girl in the party and the other being a very tame guy, leaving me with my two guy friends. We started having a very serious philosophical talk about life.  What's the point of anything? Why do people care so much about what others think? Gawking …

Yuck Fou

As a generally very nice, sentimental, warm and loving person (thanks to my Italian-Greek blood), it's hard for me to really get angry at someone. It's especially hard for me to hold on to my anger. But when I have a good reason for my rage, it feels good to let someone have it...even if it is on a toned down scale. Usually my rational and reasoning voice (thanks to my German blood) filters in through the boiling blood in my veins. This is what stopped me from throwing my exes shit in a lake or river or setting it on fire or smashing up their cars. I usually don't tell people to fuck off, but I had to text it to someone recently (even though it was sooooo cleverly done, it makes me sick - I quoted a song from his friend's band - OUCH!!!), but I kind of wish I could say something like the text from the image below to the unworthy and undeserving. This is just amazing and I think I'm going to put in on a t-shirt...enjoy this. But please, use it wisely.