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Showing posts from 2015

Resolutions

Lately I have been feeling unmotivated and depressed, I even used the word "inadequate" in a conversation with a friend the other night. Reading my old blog posts it is downright sad to see that I am writing about the same things over and over again. It is hard to know how to proceed in this crazy thing we call life. I do know one thing, that my 2016 is going to be a time of work, reflection and realigning my priorities. As I said in my post "Decisions", I need to make myself my own #1 priority. I am also going to challenge myself to be sober for at least two months starting with the New Year (so help me God, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Santa Claus, etc. - I need all the help I can get). I also am going to start taking kickboxing classes with a friend! Since I am unable to run, but still want to exercise, I hope this will be a fun way to get in shape and work out some aggression. If anyone has any tips for how to stay on track in terms of sobriety and fitness, please sh…

New study shows Chicago singles are screwed?

According to an article a friend shared on Facebook from NBC, a study conducted by WalletHub found Chicago to be one of the worst places to be single. How is this possible? Besides it being a bit pricey - but really, it's not Manhattan or San Francisco and we are not short of dive bars in this city - I'm not sure I agree. I know I have been single on and off in Chicago for years but I always seem to meet people. I could have a date every single night if I wanted. But is that part of the problem? Does this also have something to do with the fact that the men and women are shallow or picky or that everyone is on Tinder (which it seriously feels like sometimes) so they just keep going on date after date after countless date? I am so confused about this study. Does the study mean ultimately your best chances for going on a date and/or meeting people are better or worse in these places? Or are they referring to relationship success rates? It must lean toward the latter, i.e. that i…

Balance

I feel like this happens all too often: it's late at night, I'm in bed, pondering life and questioning my sanity. I am starting to think I have no idea what love feels like anymore. I thought I knew it once, but ever since my first serious relationship that began almost 10 years ago now, it seems to have gone down hill from there. I wonder if I will ever feel that deep connection with someone, the kind that goes beyond mere physical attraction and chemistry and moves into long term relationship territory. I know many men who are attracted to me or like me, but the feeling is not mutual, or I feel a superficial connection too quickly and am not discerning enough in my selection of potential partners. I generally am a passionate person but I am trying to find the right fit. I cannot keep thinking almost ever man I go on a date with is great, it is not practical and certainly not true. The men might be nice or fun, but they are not all a good fit. Is it simply in my nature to get…

Decisions

Life can be so confusing and complicated - one day you think you have it all figured out and the next day everything you thought has changed. However, certain things should never change. You should love yourself, and my friends and family constantly remind me I am worthy of self-love because they love me. However, you should always better yourself. Self-love should not impede intellectual and emotional growth. I will be a lifelong student of the ways of the world and of my immediate surroundings. I take pride in my questioning mind, enjoy pursuing various activities and try to learn from my past and my mistakes. The older I get, the more I learn about how to move forward; to love myself and better myself. I am not perfect, and we know no one is, but I always try to challenge myself to be the best I can, even if I am not always successful.

Part of my journey is learning to embrace my independence. I have dated so much that I get distracted from what is really important or tried to conv…

Brutally Honest Guide...

I remember going through a particularly rough break up years ago and working out so much I looked better than I had ever had before. I will admit I did not quite have the dramatic results as this man, but one thing we had in common is the motivation of a broken heart. If that doesn't work to get you in shape, I don't know what will. Loss and heart break are part of life, but you have to make the best of them. After all the heart break I have been through in my 30 years, I'm slowly learning that in the end it's all going to be all right. But staying away from carbs and sugar never hurt either.

Please read and feel inspired!

http://www.bodyrock.tv/weight-loss/this-brutally-honest-guide-to-losing-weight-has-gone-viral-and-with-good-reason/

(Thanks to Marcin for sharing this on Facebook)

Everybody Plays the Fool

Nobody likes to be played for a fool, least of all me. But I know we have all found ourselves in compromising situations in which we most certainly know we have been had. It is not fun; it can downright hurt. How do we avoid such situations without being overly cautious? How can we live in the moment but be true to ourselves? It appears to be a balancing act. If you take any two people and they randomly interact, it is very hard to predict what will happen. Every encounter would be finitely different from the next. However, some humans use their brains and some can make educated guesses based on certain behavioral patterns. An example would be if one meets someone they find attractive at the bar and both are under the influence of alcohol, they might be inclined to go home with each other. That is all well and good, and sometimes really is fun and in the moment, but the next steps tend to vary. Do the two people continue to see each other? Does it develop into something more serious? …

Everybody's Trying To Be My Baby

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The title of my post today is borrowed from a song of the same name written by Carl Perkins in 1957, which was in turn covered by The Beatles with George Harrison on the lead vocals. An excellent song in all of its forms. It also seems to fit my life right now. I'm "in between gigs", to quote my mother and not only are men from my past contacting me, I have met quite a few recently as well. No one has potential as far as I can tell, but I it is still rather ridiculous. Just today within the span of 3 hours, a man I met over a year ago from Germany (who still lives there) contacted me. He stayed with me for a few days in Chicago in March and we hit it off, but he lives there. I'm still here. Long distance clearly was not something he was willing to keep up. I started dating someone else in the mean time, but he would write to me on Facebook on occasion and tell me how much he missed me. He picked today of all days to repeat those sentiments. Then, just a few hours lat…

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All my exes live in Texas...

Well, not really. They live in Illinois, Arizona and Germany as far as I know. But those three places are a bitch to rhyme, don't you think? I will, for the sake of my readers, refrain from trying. I have been in contact with a lot of my exes lately and I wonder why it all seemed to happen at the same time. Perhaps it is meant to remind me of the good times, but also to remind of what did not work in those relationships and why they are in the past. I know most of the guys I dated were good (but not all), but that did not make them good for me. I have also changed so much since I began dating about a decade ago. As my post yesterday said, I am on a journey and feel like I have traveled lightyears beyond my past relationships. The retrospective of men is certainly interesting and enlightening. Maybe you think back on your past loves from time to time. I wonder what you would have to say about everything? Maybe you're not a sentimental reminiscer suc…