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Showing posts from December, 2015

Resolutions

Lately I have been feeling unmotivated and depressed, I even used the word "inadequate" in a conversation with a friend the other night. Reading my old blog posts it is downright sad to see that I am writing about the same things over and over again. It is hard to know how to proceed in this crazy thing we call life. I do know one thing, that my 2016 is going to be a time of work, reflection and realigning my priorities. As I said in my post "Decisions", I need to make myself my own #1 priority. I am also going to challenge myself to be sober for at least two months starting with the New Year (so help me God, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Santa Claus, etc. - I need all the help I can get). I also am going to start taking kickboxing classes with a friend! Since I am unable to run, but still want to exercise, I hope this will be a fun way to get in shape and work out some aggression. If anyone has any tips for how to stay on track in terms of sobriety and fitness, please sh…

New study shows Chicago singles are screwed?

According to an article a friend shared on Facebook from NBC, a study conducted by WalletHub found Chicago to be one of the worst places to be single. How is this possible? Besides it being a bit pricey - but really, it's not Manhattan or San Francisco and we are not short of dive bars in this city - I'm not sure I agree. I know I have been single on and off in Chicago for years but I always seem to meet people. I could have a date every single night if I wanted. But is that part of the problem? Does this also have something to do with the fact that the men and women are shallow or picky or that everyone is on Tinder (which it seriously feels like sometimes) so they just keep going on date after date after countless date? I am so confused about this study. Does the study mean ultimately your best chances for going on a date and/or meeting people are better or worse in these places? Or are they referring to relationship success rates? It must lean toward the latter, i.e. that i…

Balance

I feel like this happens all too often: it's late at night, I'm in bed, pondering life and questioning my sanity. I am starting to think I have no idea what love feels like anymore. I thought I knew it once, but ever since my first serious relationship that began almost 10 years ago now, it seems to have gone down hill from there. I wonder if I will ever feel that deep connection with someone, the kind that goes beyond mere physical attraction and chemistry and moves into long term relationship territory. I know many men who are attracted to me or like me, but the feeling is not mutual, or I feel a superficial connection too quickly and am not discerning enough in my selection of potential partners. I generally am a passionate person but I am trying to find the right fit. I cannot keep thinking almost ever man I go on a date with is great, it is not practical and certainly not true. The men might be nice or fun, but they are not all a good fit. Is it simply in my nature to get…

Decisions

Life can be so confusing and complicated - one day you think you have it all figured out and the next day everything you thought has changed. However, certain things should never change. You should love yourself, and my friends and family constantly remind me I am worthy of self-love because they love me. However, you should always better yourself. Self-love should not impede intellectual and emotional growth. I will be a lifelong student of the ways of the world and of my immediate surroundings. I take pride in my questioning mind, enjoy pursuing various activities and try to learn from my past and my mistakes. The older I get, the more I learn about how to move forward; to love myself and better myself. I am not perfect, and we know no one is, but I always try to challenge myself to be the best I can, even if I am not always successful.

Part of my journey is learning to embrace my independence. I have dated so much that I get distracted from what is really important or tried to conv…