Posts

Showing posts from November, 2012

Subconscious Consciousness

I saw him in the bar with his friend. To ignore or not to ignore? I thought I would continue the tradition of acting like he didn't exist as I knew he would in return, but this time was different. He looked awful. I could tell he was drunk, possibly more drunk than I had ever seen him when we were together. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was positively leering over these young girls in the bar, wandering around, trying to connect with someone...anyone. His hair was dull and he even had some dried snot on his face. I was disgusted. His friend looked rather listless and did nothing to prevent him from acting so pitifully.

And then it happened. We made eye contact. Instantly his face lit up and he bounded over to me as if we were old friends. It had been months. We never spoke one word to each other. No texts, phone calls, e-mails. Blocked on Facebook, Instagram, all social media. He practically didn't exist. We both had new partners in our lives.

How easily the irrep…

Heartbreak Hotel

Heartbreak is an experience shared by humanity. It doesn't matter where you're from, what you do or what you look like, it will happen to you at least once in your lifetime. Your heart will break and you will break others hearts. I definitely have had my fair share of heartbreak. Both as the breaker and the breakee. My heart is always very heavy after such an ordeal, but sometimes it can be more difficult when you are breaking someone else's heart. Especially when you had no intention of doing so.

I had to make some difficult decisions recently and wound up hurting someone I love. However, in learning from my past in dealing with relationships and life in general, the life decisions I made overpowered my heart, which simply proves I am a different person than I once was. Of course I would love to settle down and continue to be with him and enjoy our time together, but the cosmos have decided that I must follow my own ambitions and dreams, as I should have done long ago, ra…

Thankful

First of all, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm remembering all the reasons why I love my life and what I've done so far. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and shown me love over the years. You are truly amazing and you know who you are!

Now on to the topic at hand...I haven't been writing as often as I used to, but it's because a lot has happened to me over the past few months and I've been trying hard not to completely reveal my love life and/or frustrations therewith in such a public way. However, there are times when I feel like I just can't help myself and then I post away with reckless abandon.

Today, Thanksgiving Day, has made me feel thankful for all the experiences I've had with men, dating and relationships because I have learned a lot about myself and the ways of the world (which I still think are fucking perplexing as all hell and will probably never understand). I've been w…

Ich bin eine Rose

Image
Last night marked a momentous occasion in my life. I got a new tattoo. This tattoo holds so much meaning and represents so many different things, some of the things I might not even be aware of yet. It represents strength, beauty, passion, perseverance, melancholy and pain.

It says "I am a rose" in German. Delicate yet thorny, beautiful yet guarded, wild yet familiar. This tattoo is the dawn of a new era, a new Tina. Love me, but be careful. Fuck with me, you will get hurt.

Thanks to Yessenia's uncle Mario for the impeccable work and Chris for moral support!

Ode to Jon

Image
On the eve of the much anticipated election, my friend and I were discussing politics, Mormons and Jon Stewart. I have not had cable TV, let alone basic TV stations since I moved out of home almost 10 years ago, but whenever I could I would watch the Daily Show, sometimes online, but mainly when I was at my mom's house visiting or with my friends if they had cable. I fell in love with him because of his style, the ease with which he puns and jokes his way through his show, his witty quips and almost bipolar news anchor personality when interviewing guests.

Our discussion took place on the way to the movies and upon returning home and falling into sweet slumber, I had a dream about Jon Stewart. I was in what appeared to be a high school auditorium and towards the front, dead center near the stage, sat none other than Jon. Brow furrowed, head bowed, he was scribbling furiously into a note pad, oblivious to the world around him. Since the seats were empty, I decided to make a bold m…

No Chance

I stumbled across this interesting article on the German news site, Die Welt, about online dating. Those fortunate enough to understand the German language can read the article directly here:

Dating Site Deletes Member Profile

For those of you who don't speak German, I will paraphrase the article here:
A young German woman decided to join the dating site ElitePartner.de, the German equivalent of Match.com. They described how single life can be difficult listening to couples talk about kids, spending too many Sundays alone hanging around the apartment, awkwardly standing around with the Champagne glass on New Year's Eve while everyone else kisses and last but not least, going on countless dates with guys you wouldn't even have to look at in better times.

First of all, they make it sound like all single people are boring and have no friends. None of those scenarios apply to me at all, except for perhaps the last one, but I digress...

The young woman filled out her profile, pu…