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Showing posts from November, 2016

Giving Thanks Every Day

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Thanksgiving always reminds me just how much I have to be thankful for in my life. This year was, however, tougher than usual. My 99-year-old grandfather is slowing succumbing to age, dementia and anxiety replacing his once jovial and robust personality. It was absolutely crushing spending three days with him, knowing that he is in agony. He has "lived too long" and cannot remember everything like he used to. It was a test of strength to be with him, but it reminded me of something incredibly valuable: compassion. I was not always able to keep my composure, but I tried to be compassionate despite the frustration and mental anguish. If I were in his shoes, I have no idea what I would do, but I would hope my family would treat me kindly.

So while I am thankful for all the usual things like a roof over my head, food to eat, sources of income, my dear friends and other things, I am even more thankful this year that I had a chance to see things from a different perspective. I am …

The Sword of Damocles

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I'm sure we all are familiar with the feeling of stress, but what about the extraordinary kind? The kind that robs you of sleep, ties your stomach in knots and turns you into an emotional wreck for weeks? If you have not yet to experience this, congratulations. Tell me your secrets. Currently I am so stressed I am sick and frustrated and desperately trying to get my proverbial ducks in a row.

While ducks are adorable, they only briefly distract me from my stress. Why am I so stressed, you might ask? One part of it is my brain chemistry, another part of it is conditioning, the final part is the current point at which I find myself.

I recently decided to stop taking anti-anxiety medication and while I am not anxious like I was before I began taking it this time around, I feel every single spike in my brain activity. It is often disconcerting and hard to remember such things are normal. No one can be happy and calm 100% of the time - unless they are heavily medicated, which is not my…