Showing posts from 2013

The Turbulent 20s

OK, y' I know this is cheating to post something from another website, but I read this entry from Refinery 29 about life in your twenties and thirties and thought it was somehow appropriate and applicable to my life and the lives of many of my readers. Even though it's the thoughts of 8 women, some of the things they say are spot on, so guys, listen up!  The overall gist is when you're in your twenties, you should be wild, have fun, try new things, really put yourself out there.  Don't go completely bat shit crazy, but live a little! This is the perfect time to figure out who you are.  Then in your thirties (or if you're lucky, even a little sooner) you can start laying down the groundwork for your future.

I can finally say I've learned my lesson(s).  I've been wild, spent money with reckless abandon, drank too much, made rash decisions and now I'm ready.  Ready to do what it takes to make a nice life for myself.  I hope everyone has that moment…

Dating 101: How To Meet Someone On A Bus

Oh, the irony, my darling readers, of those chance meetings when you are least prepared. Let me tell you a story...

Due to the lovely and very early arrival of winter in Chicago - snow! wind! below freezing temperatures! parkas! - I decided to stay the night at my mother's house who I had been visiting because biking home in such weather seemed rather imprudent. In the morning my mother mercifully offered me a ride to the Western bus stop, making my commute home much shorter and fulfilling her duty as a good mother quite nicely. It was early, but there were a few people waiting at the corner of Western and Roscoe, all dressed appropriately for the weather, except for your humble author.

Let me describe what I was wearing: A navy University of Illinois hooded sweatshirt (it has the word "Illinois" emblazoned across it in bold orange lettering), dark blue leggings, brown mid-calf boots, teal green gloves, bags under my eyes the size of former Soviet Satellite States. By n…

To Block Or Not To Block?

My dearest readers, there are many difficult questions we are forced to answer throughout the course of our lives. Am I challenging myself enough? Should I look for a new job? Am I really happy in my current living situation? Does this make my ass look big?

I never thought I would have to answer such a question regarding blocking someone on my phone. But let me offer you one piece of advice: if you ever even have to ask yourself the question "Should I block this person or not?", then chances are, you probably should. I've never had to do this until recently, but I must say, it feels empowering. Not only are you, as the blocker, robbing the blockee the pleasure of being able to communicate with you via text or phone call, you are also causing the blockee lots of grief. Hopefully they are sweating bullets and up at night in complete agony because ALL of their calls go to voicemail and ALL of their texts go unanswered. The best part about this is, you will never know if the…

The Crap-o-Meter

In a serious conversation with my friend last night, I realized something important and almost miraculous. My Crap-o-Meter is finally starting to work. It took me 8 years of relationships and dating to realize I don't have to put up with other people's crap, and frankly, I shouldn't have to. My first long-term relationship with my German ex-fiance (that's right, I was engaged) lasted 4 years. Lots of back and forth and on again off again behavior. My second serious relationship with a legally married man lasted 13 months (the divorce went through when we were together) - we also broke up once in the middle of the crap storm. My third serious relationship only lasted 8 months. And this last "relationship" I was in only lasted for about 3 months. For you visual learners, please see the chart below. It is adjusted for actual time spent dating, in months. The chart clearly highlights my growing inability to put up with crap. You should always demand the best, bec…

The Circle of (Love)Life

My dearest readers,

As I mentioned in my post on Tuesday, I cleaned up my blog but left three old posts from 2006 entitled "So ist das Leben" (the German equivalent of "C'est la vie"), "Bonn" and "Update time".  I recommend reading them to be able to better understand the 20 year old Tina for comparative purposes.

The overall writing in the three posts is manic-depressive. I express my emotions in the most emphatic terms.  I'm also critical and angry about my love life.  At 20 I was looking for love, worried about intimacy, confused about my feelings, frustrated about being single and generally unsure of the right course of action.  I think back then I was spending too much time worrying about and lamenting over my situation.  I knew what I wanted and took everything that happened counter to my wishes as a personal assault on my happiness.  How it was personal, I have no idea but that's how I felt.  How dare a man not be madly in lo…

The Sound of Silence

To those of you who still check my blog from time to time, firstly, I'd like to thank you for doing so and secondly, I'd like to give you a small update as to why I haven't posted in six weeks. 
I made a very tough decision to leave my life in Phoenix to move home to Chicago. It had been seven years since living in my hometown but it couldn't have been better timing. I don't really believe in much but I now know things must happen for a reason. I left behind a job, a relationship, friends, a home and a lifestyle I became accustomed to. I had nothing to return to except for my family and some friends. I fell into an amazing job that allowed me the freedom I needed but also the financial stability I never had in Phoenix. I even got a second, part time job that is allowing to meet lots of interesting people (and hear some great music for free!). I was able to spend lots of time with my family, go out and explore my beloved city and reconnect with friends. Things were …

Fools Rush In

I have decided to permanently abstain from the online dating world after many attempts on various sites and bouts of boredom. However, some of my friends still wade through the bull in an effort to find a decent date. I sincerely wish them all the best. I can say that online dating may not have provided me a soul mate but it certainly provided fodder for my story bank. As I mentioned in my previous post, I meet lots of men out and about in the great city of Chicago so I don't get too bored for too long. I have been saved.

Today's post comes from a dear friend of mine: the lovely Ms. Patrizia. She has graciously allowed me to use her story on my blog because it's just too good.

The setup: Patrizia is a busy girl. She works long hours, works out, goes out - a typical, single 20 something lifestyle. She has an OkCupid profile and will respond to the gentlemen who have written her a well thought out message (one liners like "hey, beautiful" don't really warrant a…

Call Me Maybe

Humble Readers,

I realize I have been a total slacker! I have been way into my Yelping, writing reviews, checking in and sending and receiving compliments like a mother. This is of course a good thing. I'm getting out and exploring "my" city as an adult like never before. This also means I'm meeting lots of people. Some of them male, and some of them are actually interested. And then the usual happens:

1.) The initial chit chat. This is where the once over commences. As you speak to each other, you check out every inch of your conversation partner's body. much as you dare without being a perv. You try to get a feel for them and see if there's a spark. "Hi, how you doin? What's your name? What are you doing here? What do you do? Where do you like to go out? Oh, really? Me too. Can I take you out some time?" Usually the guy is feelin' it in my case. It's me who has to make up her mind.
2.) The exchange of digits. The guy takes yo…

Like a Glove

Finding the right match can be frustrating. For me, it's been entertaining more than anything. I thought I was getting close a few times, but it's like buying shoes or jeans. They might suit you, but they don't quite fit. A little too tight or the shape is not quite right and you finally decide to give the article of clothing away to Salvation Army. Perfect analogy dating. You meet a guy out at a bar, he asks you for your number and is excited to go out on a date with you. You go on said date, everything goes well, the guy even leaves his gloves in your car.

I think: cheesy, borderline pathetic ploy to guarantee a second date?

He thinks: on second thought, no second date. Gloves? What gloves?

So what would any self respecting woman do? That's right, give the gloves away to a friend. What? They were nice leather gloves. And the guy seemed kind of gay. Not the right fit.

My Funny Valentine

Valentine's Day. Such a tricky "holiday". Even when I was in relationships, I wasn't the biggest fan. Why make a big deal on that one day? Why not wine and dine your partner, buy them flowers/candy/(insert gift here) any of the other 364 days of the year? It's obviously nice when someone makes an effort on V-Day, but it definitely shouldn't be limited to that day and doesn't have to be such a grand gesture.

V-Day 2013: Tina, 27, single and in the big city. Met a few guys here and there since moving home; no one promising. The usual kind of situations. My partner in crime suggested something different: an Anti-Valentine's Day Party. Promises of hilarious bad date/break up stories performed on stage, roller derby girls delivering shots, sexy dancers and DJs made it seem doable. The doors were supposed to open at 7. My girl and I arrive at 7:50. Not many people were there. Apparently they pushed everything back an hour. Turns out being the first ones in …

Won't You Be Mine?

Happy Valentine's Day to all my adoring fans. Thank you for sticking with me and reading my posts - well written or not. The link in this post is from my awesome friend Annette. She knows how much I love Mr. Daryl Dixon, aka the ruggedly sexy actor Norman Reedus, from the Walking Dead. But I also love all the REAL characters in my life: my family and friends. And I try to love everyone else, too. As the Beatles would say, "All You Need Is Love". Even though today is a commercial, greeting card holiday, it still serves as a reminder to love one another, something many of us forget throughout the year.

Daryl Shot Me With His Crossbow of Love
Check out the link and let me know what you think. Do you also suffer from Daryl-itis? 
Love,  Tina

That Thing

This past Friday night provided the most amusing people watching I've had the pleasure to witness. I was out in Wicker Park to see a college buddy's band play at Subterranean at the Hipster Six Corners of North, Milwaukee and Damen. I enjoy this area so much because it's like a circus but the animals are much more colorful and less bro than in Wrigleyville.

The venue was of course dive-ish enough. Dimly lit, dark red walls, three levels, surly bouncers. We arrived to hear band #2 on the line up. A decent indie band with a cute female lead singer with a pixie haircut. When they ended, a very handsy female emcee in a red suit with a pseudo Flock of Seagulls hairdo auctioned off a date with the drummer from the band. He was the shorter, cuter version of Adam Levine (of Moron 5 fame) and was asked to bend over so his ass could be grabbed. He was sold for $30. I was shocked at the low bidding. Ladies are shy? However, after band #3, stick a skinny, cute Asian girl on stage and …

Friday Night in the Big City

After an arduous work week and my mother's emotional state (her son finally flew the coop, having lived at home for 25 years), we decided we would go to Katerina's to hear a jazz singer and her piano man. I invited a friend to join us at the show; we had other plans that night anyway. The song choices were a bit strange but the singer was good, the piano player was better. I commented that the door man (handsome, albeit a bit short for my taste and a bit haughty) looked like a member of Duran Duran because of his frosted tips and his manner of dress. We enjoyed the ambience, our drinks and food but due the to bitter cold we had to make a hasty exit.

Mother had left us and my friend and I went to see Django (even better upon second viewing) at the Davis. As the movie let out, we noticed it had snowed quite a bit and was indeed still snowing. It was quarter to one, we were in the heart of Lincoln Square and didn't feel like spending the time or energy to go far. We wound up …

Lost in the Supermarket

Going through the aisles
Too many choices
I catch a glimpse of a golden curl
Once cherished, now a distant memory
I shake my head as if the image in my mind will go away
Up and down the aisles
You see me and decide to approach
You have changed and not for the better
A man was with you who I'd never met
A new devoted companion?
I continue but still we meet several times
After all, everyone needs to eat

*Dreams are so fascinating and many times I wake up and have such a vivid recollection of what my subconscious has cooked up I write it down immediately. In this particular instance, I was in a sleepy stupor and just happened to come out of the haze literally writing this in my mind, line for line. I share it with you now. Thank you for reading,

Old Fashioned Lover Girl

Perhaps I have no grasp of reality - some have accused me of this - but I have pondered lots of relationship issues and this one totally stumps me. If you meet someone, you both click, you start seeing each other regularly and become intimate, after a few weeks, what would most people assume is happening?

I think the appropriate response is to assume that the couple is together and off limits to anyone else; an official relationship designated by the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend (to use the conventional relationship pair - not trying to limit myself but obviously this is what applies to me). Friends of the couple know what it is, strangers in public see it, the couple knows it's fitting and practical. You're not just seeing each other or just dating, it's moved beyond that. You're in a relationship. You tell others you have a partner, you don't just act enigmatic or ambiguous on the subject of relationships or dating.

I'm not suggesting this is a HUGE dea…

U Really Got A Hold On Me

In a Smokey kinda mood today so I decided to dedicate this post to all the "U's" out there. A classic clip from Sesame Street, a show I know many of us grew up watching.

And here's my favorite version of the original song, lyrics and music written by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, but here performed by none other than the fabulous Beatles. Sometimes the simplest songs can reflect perfectly how you feel. Enjoy!


It's 3am.
You give up.
You say I'm not worth it.
I just shrug, no tears to shed.

I go for a walk on this gray, misty morning.
The icy wind stings my face.
I am numb.

I dreamt about you last night.
You were hiding in bed as I walked through your door.
We talked and held each other after you made your presence known.
A man and a woman interrupted our conversation.
They were cleaning.

I wake up in a haze.
Maybe I have given up, too.
The icy wind stings my face.
I am numb.

Puppy Love

First post of the new year. Thanks for sticking with me, everyone. I'm still in my transitional phase. Moving, holidays, job hunting - sure makes one tired and not have any time or energy for fun things!

Last night, and unfortunately most nights, I couldn't fall asleep. I was lying in bed, covers wrapped round my head and sighing heavily, wishing sleep, that elusive mistress, would take me for a few hours off to slumberland. My thoughts turned to that certain someone who would have wrapped his arms around me and told me everything would be all right. Alas, he is many miles away, but luckily before my thoughts turned to ones of despair, I realized I had a little ball of joy right there next to me. My dog!

All curled up in her purple fleece blanket, all ten pounds of her, my Chin-Pin named after one of my rock and roll idols: Presley. She has been a great source of comfort to me. She is sleeping in her bed, inches from my chair as I type this. She follows me around like a little…