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Showing posts from April, 2012

None of Your Business

People are always throwing around advice - especially relationship advice. The problem is, their advice pertains only to them and their experiences. This doesn't mean people in general have similar issues, but since everyone is different, even if only slightly (hey, there are about 7 billion people on the Earth now), their advice can be helpful to a point. Mostly in my experience, advice just clouds your own judgment. You become swayed by what other people say and your own decision is not really your own. If someone is telling you that someone isn't right for you or that they don't love you for x, y and z reasons, you might not have thought of it that way and now your thoughts have been exposed to the other person's "advice", which at this point resembles poison.

I suggest you listen to advice respectfully. Advice may be used as fodder for intellectual internal debates about relationships, but for nothing else. As long as your significant other hasn't che…

Small World

I always find it highly amusing when I run into guys I went on a date with out and about in the world. Once you have decided you don't want to see them again, they tend to drop off the face of the Earth, never to be seen or heard from again, unless it was a more significant relationship or you both mutually decided there was nothing there and you could just be friends (see my previous post about this topic).

Yesterday when enjoying my Passion Tea with Vanilla from Starbucks with my gentleman friend, at my 1 o'clock (so pretty much right behind my guy) I saw this guy I went out a date with tutoring someone. This is the crazy part: the guy I was with I met the day I went on a date with the tutor. I decided after the date with the tutor that I was done with OKCupid (the first time around) and in an extreme twist of fate I met my boyfriend that very night at the Lost Leaf on a very warm First Friday in June and it all went downhill from there. Just kidding. It mostly went uphill a…

It's a Dog's Life

My experience with the stray dog reminds me how hard it is to say no if you're a nice person. After the whole fiasco Friday night/Saturday morning, the dog had found a friend in me. Presley wasn't so sold on him, but they would obviously be buddies under different circumstances. I really would love to keep him and my heart is breaking because I can't. I called Maricopa Animal Care and Control and they'll be coming to get him in the next 6 hours.

You're probably wondering how this all relates to dating and relationships, but in reality, everything does. If someone breaks your heart, I would tend to think that most people will always be willing to give the heart breaker a second chance. I've seen it happen all the time. It's happened to me in 2 relationships. The only difference with humans is, you usually can't call a number to schlep someone away like I did with the poor dog, unless perhaps they're foaming at the mouth or trying to kill you...restra…

Cats and Dogs

Let's face it...we all know pets are like children. We defend them mercilessly, allow them do very odd and obnoxious things, shower them with love and affection and talk to them as if they understood us. And all that because we love them and they love us. Pets are a joy and a frustration. Last night I lured the local stray dog into my apartment thinking I would have a brother for my dog. Big mistake. The dog was clearly not trusting of humans and he wouldn't let me bathe him. If I could have given him a good scrub down, he would have been mine. I'm too OCD to have a stinky, mangy stray dog in my apartment. He didn't try to bite me or my dog, so I knew he would be all right with us, but it was just too much trying to wrestle with him in my bathroom. He wouldn't calm down and then he kept running all over my apartment, chasing Presley playfully. This all at 3:00am. I didn't mind any of it, I honestly would have kept the dog. I love animals. I can tell the dog lik…

Mr. Nice Guy?

Howdy, folks. Thanks for stopping by. Today's theme is behavioral interpretation. How can one differentiate between whether someone is acting purely out of kindness, or whether there is a hidden (or not so hidden) motive behind it? This topic causes many people to scratch their heads and wonder...does so and so like me? I am a firm believer that men and women cannot be just friends (sorry for the traditional gender/relationship roles here, it could be two people of any gender or sexual orientation...). There is almost always an element of attraction (even if it is a slight one) on one or both sides. There is also something about the interaction that takes place to generally support this statement. The flirty, teasing, playfulness...people like knowing someone else likes them, even if it is to a small degree. People like being flattered and having their ego stroked. Thus, if someone constantly seems to go the extra mile and is always doing nice things for their "friend", …

Your an Idiot...revisited

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Miss Communication

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This post is brought to you courtesy of an e-mail from my coworker, Biviana Pulido! I thought it fit perfectly to the theme of my blog...

The topic here is communication between men and women and how it usually falls flat. Although the road to hell is paved with good intentions...enjoy! Thanks, Bivi!

The Wiener's Circle, Part 2

The night before we made plans, my friend joked around in his inappropriate way. He was going to pick me up and whip out his wiener. Lots of LOLs ensued. But I knew he was kidding and I told him I knew he was kidding. Well...he wasn't kidding. He picked me up at my mom's house and we were going to do some last minute Xmas shopping. I had to get a present for someone and just wanted to hang out since my mom was at work during the day. A few minutes into the drive, I see something out of the corner of my eye. A quick glance proved that he was a man of his word. 
He had whipped it out; one hand on the wheel, the other on the shaft (and I don't mean the car part)! I immediately begin screaming and covered my head with my scarf. "You must be crazy! Why on Earth would you do this? What the hell is wrong with you? I have a boyfriend! This is ridiculous! I can't believe you!" I couldn't stop. He tried to force his boner back into submission and finally, it was ove…

The Wiener's Circle (Part 1)

Preface: This one's for you...you know who you are.

This story is one for the history books. Well, my history book, if the history of the world was told by me. Once upon a time, in a land, far, far away...oops, just kidding. Wrong beginning. I'll try again...

Many years ago in the awkward adolescent era in the land of puberty, lived a girl much like myself. She was a lot pudgier, a lot less assertive and downright nerdy. She was the musical prodigy of her high school: first chair oboe player in orchestra, band, pit band, music theory whiz, composer, pseudo-conductor, featured solos in concerts and showcased (and won) in music competitions. Everyone in the music department knew her. She had lots of friends and many of them would frequently hang out after school in the orchestra room playing music together. One of these friends was a guy that she quickly developed a crush on. Not only did they play music together, they were also in a German class together and he constantly bugge…

Douches beware

It has been pointed out to me by an avid reader that I am hypocrite. Whoops. I said I had a set of rules in an earlier post but then I said you have to throw them out the window yesterday. I fully stand by both posts, but the latter one is my general philosophy. The former was a negative reaction to a less than stellar experience with a guy. But, in my spirit of flexibility and compromise, I will say this, if there is any rule that holds true always and forever, it is the following: I WILL NOT DATE A DOUCHE!

Now let me clarify...it doesn't matter if a guy has kids, has 4 ex-wives, isn't that cute, prefers texting over calling, has a farmer's tan, is slovenly, is unemployed, whatever - if he treats you with respect and showers you with love and affection, he's worth a few dates at least. Some situations (like a man's unemployment, his filthy habitat, etc.) might not rectify themselves after a few dates, so then you pull the plug, but writing someone off from the be…

30-60-90

It's funny how people can make up rules for dating and relationships.

I won't ask a guy for his number.
I won't sleep with a guy on the first date.
I won't date anyone with children.

Any of these sound familiar? Whatever your rules are, I have one piece of advice: throw them out the window. You want to be happy? You have to go with the flow. If you can't do that, you can forget ever having a significant other (unless somehow you're lucky).

Rules, they say, are meant to be broken and if you like - or even love - someone, you have to be able to be flexible and give a little bit more of yourself. Hopefully you will get it in return. If you don't, you move on to the next. But if you are lucky enough have a good balance of give and take, that makes for a lasting relationship. If one person does all the driving or paying or supporting, that leaves the other person unsatisfied. Expectations should be clear, but rules? I think they have no place in a relationship.…

Iago

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Ever heard of Iago? Most of you may know him as the trouble maker in Shakespeare's tragedy "Othello". Love the tights, dude!