Old Fashioned Lover Girl
Perhaps I have no grasp of reality - some have accused me of this - but I have pondered lots of relationship issues and this one totally stumps me. If you meet someone, you both click, you start seeing each other regularly and become intimate, after a few weeks, what would most people assume is happening?
I think the appropriate response is to assume that the couple is together and off limits to anyone else; an official relationship designated by the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend (to use the conventional relationship pair - not trying to limit myself but obviously this is what applies to me). Friends of the couple know what it is, strangers in public see it, the couple knows it's fitting and practical. You're not just seeing each other or just dating, it's moved beyond that. You're in a relationship. You tell others you have a partner, you don't just act enigmatic or ambiguous on the subject of relationships or dating.
I'm not suggesting this is a HUGE deal or that it requires some GRAND gesture (although, what the hell? It would be nice). But there is a point where you go from being a new, dating pair to being official. Proper etiquette and decency require it, in my opinion. If you can't call someone your partner, when clearly that's what they are, it seems a bit suspect. Some people are accepting of open relationships but I don't know how that functions. I don't think many people are willing to put up with it for one thing. If I told three guys I would date them but I wouldn't be exclusive, they wouldn't hang around and/or they'd feel compelled to do the same to me. It's a big old mess and I'm trying to live a zen, less complicated life.
So please, humble readers, for the sake of clarity, call a spade a spade. If you can't call someone your partner, then maybe you're not ready for a relationship and you need to tell your partner so they can decide what to do. It's always best to be honest and fair.
I think the appropriate response is to assume that the couple is together and off limits to anyone else; an official relationship designated by the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend (to use the conventional relationship pair - not trying to limit myself but obviously this is what applies to me). Friends of the couple know what it is, strangers in public see it, the couple knows it's fitting and practical. You're not just seeing each other or just dating, it's moved beyond that. You're in a relationship. You tell others you have a partner, you don't just act enigmatic or ambiguous on the subject of relationships or dating.
I'm not suggesting this is a HUGE deal or that it requires some GRAND gesture (although, what the hell? It would be nice). But there is a point where you go from being a new, dating pair to being official. Proper etiquette and decency require it, in my opinion. If you can't call someone your partner, when clearly that's what they are, it seems a bit suspect. Some people are accepting of open relationships but I don't know how that functions. I don't think many people are willing to put up with it for one thing. If I told three guys I would date them but I wouldn't be exclusive, they wouldn't hang around and/or they'd feel compelled to do the same to me. It's a big old mess and I'm trying to live a zen, less complicated life.
So please, humble readers, for the sake of clarity, call a spade a spade. If you can't call someone your partner, then maybe you're not ready for a relationship and you need to tell your partner so they can decide what to do. It's always best to be honest and fair.
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