That Thing

This past Friday night provided the most amusing people watching I've had the pleasure to witness. I was out in Wicker Park to see a college buddy's band play at Subterranean at the Hipster Six Corners of North, Milwaukee and Damen. I enjoy this area so much because it's like a circus but the animals are much more colorful and less bro than in Wrigleyville.

The venue was of course dive-ish enough. Dimly lit, dark red walls, three levels, surly bouncers. We arrived to hear band #2 on the line up. A decent indie band with a cute female lead singer with a pixie haircut. When they ended, a very handsy female emcee in a red suit with a pseudo Flock of Seagulls hairdo auctioned off a date with the drummer from the band. He was the shorter, cuter version of Adam Levine (of Moron 5 fame) and was asked to bend over so his ass could be grabbed. He was sold for $30. I was shocked at the low bidding. Ladies are shy? However, after band #3, stick a skinny, cute Asian girl on stage and she goes for a whopping $170. Proof that hipsterdom has no limits. It was for charity?

And while all the music and rape-like shenanigans were happening on stage, the stuff of legends was taking place on the sidelines. Lumberjack, as we so lovingly dubbed him, was following around this midget hipster chick in a hat like a doofus puppy dog. He was tall, solidly built and wearing a red and black plaid shirt. And clearly very intoxicated, even from the point we showed up and it was only 10pm. The midget was also drunk which is why she didn't rebuke him forcefully enough. We conjectured and pondered the nature of their relationship. Did they know each other? No. They did not. He was a massive creeper making a beeline for her any time she walked away. He knocked into us a few times trying to pass through the crowd to get to her and he ruined a group photo because all he had eyes for was the midget hipster chick in a hat. At some point a second midget in a hat appeared. Midget hipster chick was saved! But then the inevitable happened. He set his eyes on - you guessed it - me! If you have read my previous post about men bounding up to me and demanding affection, you might have remembered me mentioning that my Polish-German friend and I are very tall, lovely, confident women. Drunk as he was, he definitely checked us out...and hard. It was very uncomfortable but I held my poker face and stared at the band or whatever was on stage until he averted his gaze. It worked! He finally buzzed off and just in time, too. My friend's band played and I didn't have to worry about being harassed so I could enjoy the music. And that I did, very much!

Just another night in Hipsterville.

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