Decisions

Life can be so confusing and complicated - one day you think you have it all figured out and the next day everything you thought has changed. However, certain things should never change. You should love yourself, and my friends and family constantly remind me I am worthy of self-love because they love me. However, you should always better yourself. Self-love should not impede intellectual and emotional growth. I will be a lifelong student of the ways of the world and of my immediate surroundings. I take pride in my questioning mind, enjoy pursuing various activities and try to learn from my past and my mistakes. The older I get, the more I learn about how to move forward; to love myself and better myself. I am not perfect, and we know no one is, but I always try to challenge myself to be the best I can, even if I am not always successful.

Part of my journey is learning to embrace my independence. I have dated so much that I get distracted from what is really important or tried to convince myself the wrong guy was the right guy. How difficult can it be to find an intellectual, well-traveled, agnostic/atheist, vegetarian, German-speaking musician pseudo-hipster with a not-hipster job (i.e., he makes bank) who is over six feet tall who I find cute and who is not a jerk? I'm sure some of these people exist but perhaps until I meet one of them, I should focus on bigger and better things.

Tinder is not one of them. I immediately decided to sign up (again) days after my last short relationship ended. I was not heartbroken, despite the very brief initial shock, and I honestly get bored (seriously, re-reading my old blog posts I repeat the date-no date cycle constantly). The past few years of my blog have been about my dates and stories from the world of "all the single ladies." Dating is such a chore, but I figured I might as well start the search for the right guy. However, apps such as Tinder enable us to feel complacent. The countless number of faces blend together. How on earth can one seriously judge another person based on a picture or two (if anyone even looks beyond the main picture)? Needless to say I have again decided to delete the Tinder app and although I went on a few dates, I think the time to myself will be valuable. I still want to share my stories of heartbreak and hilarity, but I am not in the mood to date...even though I was on a "date" tonight, and have one Thursday and Saturday. After that, I have decided I am on hiatus until further notice. Or until the German-speaking Colin Firth-like man of my dreams appears.

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