Boring is Good

I'll admit, my last post was a bit vague, but I mean what I say. Flavored condoms are a no-no.

I went to the lady doctor for a routine check up and safe sex was brought up in casual conversation, as it usually is. There were little condom lollipops in all the colors of the rainbow stuck to the wall. I chuckled appreciatively. Then one of the nurses, or perhaps even the doctor herself, mentioned that they had flavored condoms. Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry and Mint. Word on the street was, Strawberry and Mint were the better options. So I said, "what the hell?" (literally - I said that) and went for a strip of Strawberry and a strip of Mint. The doctor said they would be good until 2016 and I replied I would have no problem using them by them. SHE chuckled appreciatively and maybe (fake?) gagged a little. I went home with these 8 little wonders in my purse and was appropriately curious and a smidge excited to try them out.

However, when the opportunity presented itself, not only was it unpleasant for me, but for my partner. Since they are FLAVORED, I'm not stupid - who's the idiot who's going to taste them? *Scratches head.* OH RIGHT! ME!!! They tasted mostly like plastic and candle wax. So erotic. And "tasting" them means that the male isn't really enjoying the "tasting" as he would sans flavored latex. Apparently they also caused a bit of a burning sensation for his member and my throat. Unfortunately in the end, our flavored friends were not helpful. If the male was a first time partner, we would have been in a lot of trouble.

In conclusion, I do not recommend them. Although they're no worse than boring, regular condoms. But please stay safe, kiddies! Why do I feel like a hypocrite saying that? Perhaps that's a topic for another blog on another day...or not.

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