Hug a Cactus

Today's post features a message I received on OKCupid from a 21-year-old guy who decided to be clever...I think.

"I would hug a cactus then swim through shark infested salt water to the arctic to do battle with an angry mother polar bear on a 2x2 foot iceberg for the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam over a dial up connection!!!"

This is totally amazing, albeit silly. I think if a man really loves a woman (or a man loves a man, a woman loves a woman, a man loves a goat, etc.), this statement absolutely should ring true. I do not want to settle for anything less. I really am an amazing individual - it's true, everyone says so - and I have so much going for me. As my dear mother would say, the world is my oyster. Why shouldn't I expect a man to traverse the world, fight with all sorts of creatures and put himself in ridiculous peril at my expense? Aren't I worth it? I guess it all depends on the guy. You can't pick who you fall for though. Life always throws you curve balls.

So thank you, young man, for your lovely message. I am unfortunately not interested. You are too young and not my type at all. Perhaps you would turn out to be a great guy, but I suppose I will never know...

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