Cream of the Crop

Since rejoining (sigh) the world of OKCupid, I took a very passive approach. Let the fine gentlemen message me first, signaling their biological interest to find an attractive mate. Being a woman, this is infinitely easier to collect messages and then select which ones are deemed worthy of a response. However, in my gap year, if you will, of membership, I noticed that after a while, I was receiving messages from gentlemen that messaged me over a year ago. This tends to leave a less than positive impact on me. I know I am no better, since I am once again on the site, but it always makes me wonder, has the guy been on there the whole time? One gentlemen claimed he was in the same situation as me. He was in a relationship for a while and then rejoined. Another, very unsavory fellow messaged me and I completely ignored him. He made it clear very quickly he wanted a young girl to fool around with. I wish guys like that would just write "sex" in every single field on their profile...

Six things you can't live without: 1) inappropriate text messages asking girls for sexy pictures so I can get a hard on, 2) not knowing how to spell or use punctuation because girls don't want to have sex with smart guys, 3) having half naked pictures of myself posted all over the internet so I can lure chicks to have sex with me with my rippling pecs and bulging biceps, 4) turning anything and everything a woman says into sexual innuendo, just in case she's not really sure I want to have sex, 5) asking a girl to "hang out" because hanging out isn't a date, it's just a reason to meet up and have sex and 6) hopefully actually getting a dumb broad to fall for me by using the previous 5 tactics to get...guess what? Sex. 

THAT would be an accurate portrayal of many gentlemen putting themselves out there in the online "dating" world. THAT would be an honest and truthful account of what they actually think and what they actually want. But if they wrote a profile like that, it would be sad and pathetic and people like me would never, EVER write to a person like that because their profile would just drip with douche. So they try to hide it. But the power of the douche will always prevail.

Comments

  1. Kayla12:06 PM

    This is hilarious Tina. I actually met my bf on okay cupid.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown3:37 PM

    Good for you! Glad you had some luck!!!!! Sorry I've been knocking OKCupid. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  3. FloorItNettie10:36 PM

    I love it! (although I feel kind of bad that I wish you encounter more weirdos though so I can hear more funny stories-be safe cara!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown8:58 AM

    Hahaha, I know what you mean. I have collected plenty of stories over the years and I will put them up, one day at a time! :) Thanks for your love and support!

    ReplyDelete

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