Responsibly Reminscing
Today marked a momentous occasion, a turning point, in my life. For the first time in my adult life I have a full time job with benefits that I actually want. I received the official offer letter from the COO in my manager's office with my supervisors and esteemed coworkers surrounding me and I couldn't suppress my happiness. The COO made it sound like I would have new responsibilities and that the opportunity for professional growth would be a definite.
But before all of that - the knowledge that this was my first day as full timer after almost of year of busting my rear filling my mind - as I was on my way into work, I was reminded of a time when responsibility seemed like a four letter word. I had moved to Germany at the age of 20 and definitely had my fair share of wild nights and responsibility shirking. I was one of the best students and spoke the best German (but that wasn't really saying much in an exchange program...although I was allowed to take courses at the actual German university, rather than watered down, blow off courses offered from the program), but knew that this was going to be my time to let loose. I went out all the time, I drank, I smoked like a chimney, I made tons of friends, I traveled, I was living the life. One of my best friends (Wessels!) and I were the most motivated and we pushed ourselves to speak almost solely in German and wound up staying far longer than anyone else. I made it to 2 1/2 years - finishing my Bachelor's, had a job and a man - he is still there. During that time beyond our first semester, we signed up for internships. His wound up being amazing and led him to his stunning career with the U.N. Mine was a bit less stunning. I was an intern at the Music School of Bonn. During my time there, I did my best to actually do some work. I wanted them to take me seriously. My boss was a bit patronizing, but he meant well. I was there for about 6 months and the biggest event we had was a music festival...it also happened to be the same day as one of the biggest collective drunken festivals in the Rheinland. Karneval.
11/11/07 at 11:11am, I somehow managed to royally throw any sense of propriety and responsibility out the window and was in Kölle (Cologne for all you Yanks) already under the influence with a large group of people, mostly boys, in costume. This was a crazy cultural experience. And rather than be good old Tina trying to be responsible and prove myself to my boss and the music school, I was drinking my ass off, flirting with lots of boys and being attacked on several occasions. General tomfoolery and shenanigans that a young girl in Europe would undertake. I remember actually making phone calls to my boss in a desperate attempt to tell him I was sick. HAHAHAHA! Yeah right. The shame set in when I finally had to cross his path, but dammit, the memories I have of Karneval are classic. A guy I just met that day shoving my hand down his pants! GASP! A complete stranger making out with me Hollywood style in the doorway! SHOCK! A guy who I thought was just a friend being jealous of his friend holding my hand and dancing with me! WOW! I was living it up.
Today, I definitely don't have the urge to be quite so wild. But I also don't want to settle down and get married or have kids. Geez, I'm not crazy! (Just kidding) I do realize that I have a responsibility to work and even though I would love nothing more than to "bunk off" like in the good old days, I go into work and it's mostly because I like being there! I also have a responsibility to my pooch. I try not to stay out all night. She's like my baby. And I also have a responsibility to myself. I don't want to compromise who I am for anyone. I refuse to go out and have men be so silly with me anymore. I need to be respected and like doling out respect when it's due. I guess I'm finally growing up...NAH! Who am I kidding? I still think farts are funny :)
But before all of that - the knowledge that this was my first day as full timer after almost of year of busting my rear filling my mind - as I was on my way into work, I was reminded of a time when responsibility seemed like a four letter word. I had moved to Germany at the age of 20 and definitely had my fair share of wild nights and responsibility shirking. I was one of the best students and spoke the best German (but that wasn't really saying much in an exchange program...although I was allowed to take courses at the actual German university, rather than watered down, blow off courses offered from the program), but knew that this was going to be my time to let loose. I went out all the time, I drank, I smoked like a chimney, I made tons of friends, I traveled, I was living the life. One of my best friends (Wessels!) and I were the most motivated and we pushed ourselves to speak almost solely in German and wound up staying far longer than anyone else. I made it to 2 1/2 years - finishing my Bachelor's, had a job and a man - he is still there. During that time beyond our first semester, we signed up for internships. His wound up being amazing and led him to his stunning career with the U.N. Mine was a bit less stunning. I was an intern at the Music School of Bonn. During my time there, I did my best to actually do some work. I wanted them to take me seriously. My boss was a bit patronizing, but he meant well. I was there for about 6 months and the biggest event we had was a music festival...it also happened to be the same day as one of the biggest collective drunken festivals in the Rheinland. Karneval.
11/11/07 at 11:11am, I somehow managed to royally throw any sense of propriety and responsibility out the window and was in Kölle (Cologne for all you Yanks) already under the influence with a large group of people, mostly boys, in costume. This was a crazy cultural experience. And rather than be good old Tina trying to be responsible and prove myself to my boss and the music school, I was drinking my ass off, flirting with lots of boys and being attacked on several occasions. General tomfoolery and shenanigans that a young girl in Europe would undertake. I remember actually making phone calls to my boss in a desperate attempt to tell him I was sick. HAHAHAHA! Yeah right. The shame set in when I finally had to cross his path, but dammit, the memories I have of Karneval are classic. A guy I just met that day shoving my hand down his pants! GASP! A complete stranger making out with me Hollywood style in the doorway! SHOCK! A guy who I thought was just a friend being jealous of his friend holding my hand and dancing with me! WOW! I was living it up.
Today, I definitely don't have the urge to be quite so wild. But I also don't want to settle down and get married or have kids. Geez, I'm not crazy! (Just kidding) I do realize that I have a responsibility to work and even though I would love nothing more than to "bunk off" like in the good old days, I go into work and it's mostly because I like being there! I also have a responsibility to my pooch. I try not to stay out all night. She's like my baby. And I also have a responsibility to myself. I don't want to compromise who I am for anyone. I refuse to go out and have men be so silly with me anymore. I need to be respected and like doling out respect when it's due. I guess I'm finally growing up...NAH! Who am I kidding? I still think farts are funny :)
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