The Love Chronicles

Listening to music during a road trip can be an enlightening and entertaining experience. If you and your road trip partner have similar tastes, the music choices are less adventurous, but more fun for both. If you and your road trip partner have different tastes, the music choices become exciting, revealing of the person's character and so much more is at stake. I just recently went on a road trip with both kinds of musical partners - one with one of my best friends who likes similar music and one with my boyfriend who likes different music. Both trips were great for so many different reasons, but the music in the car with my boyfriend was like a challenge to me. There were so many songs I did not know, bands I had never heard of, things I really liked I would write down on my list of music to check out. Some of his choices were surprising, but that was fine with me. The trip was all-around filled with music - B.B. King's blues club, Graceland, Sun Studio, Stax Soul Museum, ...

In last month's post entitled "Decisions" I said it was time to focus on myself and not on my dating game, because let's be honest, it felt like a game, or maybe more of a big joke. I had no hopes for finding true love, let alone a decent date, but Tinder, my fickle app friend, you have surpassed my wildest dreams. I am a persistent person, despite the ups and downs, and my advice to others who are feeling down in love should just remember there are so many people who are not right for you so you will have to go on many first dates to find someone even remotely plausible. Conversely, the number of people who have the potential to be a good match is probably very small. That being said, there are people out there whom you will meet and everything will just "click." The feeling is the stuff of dreams and I am loath to wake up. But who says the feeling cannot last indefinitely? I do not understand or enjoy the concept of "the honeymoon phase" of a...

A sad day it is indeed when you come to the realization you harbor feelings of jealousy, that you are not truly happy for others when they have what you want, or what you think you want. Even though I am not religious, I still want to use the word un-Christian to describe such a phenomenon. I know it is a natural human experience, one of the common core feelings, just like love, hate, anger, fear, sadness (I sound like I'm listing the characters from Disney's "Inside Out"...sigh), etc. Why do these feelings of jealousy arise? Why do I feel guilty after the jealous feelings subside? How does one deal with such feelings? I think my general approach lately has been to accept that certain undesirable mental states or thoughts are a part of life and that they will pass. If you pull a Gandalf ("you shall not pass") you're in for trouble. Take a George Harrison approach instead ("all things must pass"). I know I discussed a romanticized version of jea...

Lately I have been feeling unmotivated and depressed, I even used the word "inadequate" in a conversation with a friend the other night. Reading my old blog posts it is downright sad to see that I am writing about the same things over and over again. It is hard to know how to proceed in this crazy thing we call life. I do know one thing, that my 2016 is going to be a time of work, reflection and realigning my priorities. As I said in my post "Decisions", I need to make myself my own #1 priority. I am also going to challenge myself to be sober for at least two months starting with the New Year (so help me God, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Santa Claus, etc. - I need all the help I can get). I also am going to start taking kickboxing classes with a friend! Since I am unable to run, but still want to exercise, I hope this will be a fun way to get in shape and work out some aggression. If anyone has any tips for how to stay on track in terms of sobriety and fitness, please sha...

According to an article a friend shared on Facebook from NBC, a study conducted by WalletHub found Chicago to be one of the worst places to be single. How is this possible? Besides it being a bit pricey - but really, it's not Manhattan or San Francisco and we are not short of dive bars in this city - I'm not sure I agree. I know I have been single on and off in Chicago for years but I always seem to meet people. I could have a date every single night if I wanted. But is that part of the problem? Does this also have something to do with the fact that the men and women are shallow or picky or that everyone is on Tinder (which it seriously feels like sometimes) so they just keep going on date after date after countless date? I am so confused about this study. Does the study mean ultimately your best chances for going on a date and/or meeting people are better or worse in these places? Or are they referring to relationship success rates? It must lean toward the latter, i.e. that it...

I feel like this happens all too often: it's late at night, I'm in bed, pondering life and questioning my sanity. I am starting to think I have no idea what love feels like anymore. I thought I knew it once, but ever since my first serious relationship that began almost 10 years ago now, it seems to have gone down hill from there. I wonder if I will ever feel that deep connection with someone, the kind that goes beyond mere physical attraction and chemistry and moves into long term relationship territory. I know many men who are attracted to me or like me, but the feeling is not mutual, or I feel a superficial connection too quickly and am not discerning enough in my selection of potential partners. I generally am a passionate person but I am trying to find the right fit. I cannot keep thinking almost ever man I go on a date with is great, it is not practical and certainly not true. The men might be nice or fun, but they are not all a good fit. Is it simply in my nature to get ...

Life can be so confusing and complicated - one day you think you have it all figured out and the next day everything you thought has changed. However, certain things should never change. You should love yourself, and my friends and family constantly remind me I am worthy of self-love because they love me. However, you should always better yourself. Self-love should not impede intellectual and emotional growth. I will be a lifelong student of the ways of the world and of my immediate surroundings. I take pride in my questioning mind, enjoy pursuing various activities and try to learn from my past and my mistakes. The older I get, the more I learn about how to move forward; to love myself and better myself. I am not perfect, and we know no one is, but I always try to challenge myself to be the best I can, even if I am not always successful. Part of my journey is learning to embrace my independence. I have dated so much that I get distracted from what is really important or tried to con...