Tinder, thy name is wonderful

In last month's post entitled "Decisions" I said it was time to focus on myself and not on my dating game, because let's be honest, it felt like a game, or maybe more of a big joke. I had no hopes for finding true love, let alone a decent date, but Tinder, my fickle app friend, you have surpassed my wildest dreams.

I am a persistent person, despite the ups and downs, and my advice to others who are feeling down in love should just remember there are so many people who are not right for you so you will have to go on many first dates to find someone even remotely plausible. Conversely, the number of people who have the potential to be a good match is probably very small.

That being said, there are people out there whom you will meet and everything will just "click." The feeling is the stuff of dreams and I am loath to wake up. But who says the feeling cannot last indefinitely? I do not understand or enjoy the concept of "the honeymoon phase" of a relationship. Shouldn't everything always be rosy and grand? Or isn't that what we should strive for in a relationship? To be happy and to make the other person happy? The only thing that has stood in the way of that goal before was myself.

"Frailty, thy name is woman," says Hamlet. I would also be loath to say I truly believe that or that Hamlet's sentiments are universally applicable, but when I start questioning, doubting, wondering, my inner Iago (sorry, I'm mixing up my Shakespeare) rears his ugly head. Why not just be happy in the moment and let things progress naturally and happily, as is my current situation? Perhaps it is not always easy to go with the flow, and I am certainly not of a frail constitution, but sometimes we feel we don't deserve to be so happy and then a phase of self-sabotage commences. The mind wanders to the darkest depths and tries to ruin a great thing, "which I admit is both bogus and sad" (to quote another Shakespearean wordsmith, Wayne Campbell). However, it is also helpful when the person you are with is thoroughly encouraging, supportive, complimentary.

So I say, "Nay, mind! Frailty, begone!" I also never thought I would ever say this, but thank goodness for Tinder!

P.S. This post, originally published on 23 January 2016, actually 100% applies to my current relationship. He is "The One", we click, we are still very much in love a few months after meeting and we both know our searching days are over. I guess my cycles of singledom and online dating actually paid off. I always said "never again," but never say never. Never.

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