The Pressures of Being Human

My Dear Readers,

With only a few weeks to go until I reach the PhD finish line, my brain has been set to hyperdrive mode. Thus it is not entirely surprising that I could still manage to write something for fun. I must admit that today's post is quite personal, but I think the bottom line is one with which we all relate.

I have suffered from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) since I was a teenager. I was not always aware of my affliction, I just knew I felt terrible and sometimes it would take weeks or even months for me to look and feel normal. The average person cannot see that you suffer from IBS unless, for example, you are so bloated you look pregnant, which I experience from time to time. It is a chronic disorder that, as far as I am aware, receives little attention but approximately 1 in 5 Americans have it. It has a range of symptoms and unfortunately cannot be cured. You just have to learn to manage it in the long term, which is not always an easy task and requires discipline and support.

Why am I revealing this to you, you might ask? Stick with me, it will become clear, I promise.

IBS is often tied to stress. Stress in any form, not just mental, but also physical, can trigger the wonderfully complex yet highly sensitive machine we call the human body to function at less than optimal levels, throwing off the digestive system that ranges anywhere from your mouth to your bottom. Not everyone who suffers from stress, chronic or acute, will suffer from IBS, but stress in my case triggers attacks and exacerbates all my physical and mental woes.

How does stress manifest itself? Why do some people seem less stressed than others? We have to take in genetic factors, environmental surroundings, mental conditioning, diet, drugs, sleep, exercise work and other routine factors. Unfortunately a lot of people are stressed because they do not fulfill the expectations they feel society has placed upon them. How often do we feel stressed because we do not do everything we think we should to be this perfect version of ourselves? I know I am not the only one who has these questions, and many more, race through my mind on a daily basis:

Should I work out today? Did I drink too much alcohol last night? Should I have another brownie? Do these pants make my arse look big? Why am I not productive enough? Am I too fat? Do I need to wear makeup? Are those wrinkles under my eyes? Was the extra cup of coffee too much? Should I go out to dinner? Where did this cellulite come from? Will I make this deadline? Can I afford to take this trip? Why did I eat that? 

We have so many questions and doubts, we want to look or act a certain way, we worry and we care about what is important to us, we are under an enormous amount of pressure to do the right things and be the best we can be. This is why my mind sometimes refuses to shut down. This is why I internally obsess about trivial things I consider flaws. This is why I have days plagued with self doubt. This is why I sometimes literally "can't even."

Everyone tells me I should just "calm down." But how? How can I just throw away all the pressure, even if it is largely self-afflicted, when it has been my constant companion for so long? This is the conundrum in which I find myself. And this is what causes my IBS to flair up. And this is what perpetuates the cycle of bad feelings. Of feeling disgusting, of feeling helpless, of feeling down. And all because no matter what I eat or drink or do my system is out of whack.

I opened up today about my problem because it is a huge, but largely invisible one. So many of us struggle from the pressures of society, from the pressures of life, and we hardly take time to realize that behind the veneer, we are human. We have problems. We might be hurting. We need love and kindness. And that costs us nothing. My whole blog thematizes love and relationships and even I forget, that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. If we love ourselves and take care of ourselves, we can then love and take care of others. This might seem simple or obvious, maybe everyone sees this as a given, but it gets so covered up in the pressures we face that we lose sight of what is important. Our well being. So remember, it is all right to be human but embrace your imperfections try to take things one step at a time. Your bowels will thank you!

In conclusion, and because it's me and I simply must be crass, don't be crappy, be happy!

 

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