The Wiener's Circle, Part 2

The night before we made plans, my friend joked around in his inappropriate way. He was going to pick me up and whip out his wiener. Lots of LOLs ensued. But I knew he was kidding and I told him I knew he was kidding. Well...he wasn't kidding.

He picked me up at my mom's house and we were going to do some last minute Xmas shopping. I had to get a present for someone and just wanted to hang out since my mom was at work during the day. A few minutes into the drive, I see something out of the corner of my eye. A quick glance proved that he was a man of his word.

He had whipped it out; one hand on the wheel, the other on the shaft (and I don't mean the car part)! I immediately began screaming and covered my head with my scarf. "You must be crazy! Why on Earth would you do this? What the hell is wrong with you? I have a boyfriend! This is ridiculous! I can't believe you!" I couldn't stop. He tried to force his boner back into submission and finally, it was over. I was in shock. He asked me if I thought his wiener was a good size or not. First of all, I didn't get a good look at it. Second of all, since we are not together, I feel it's irrelevant what I think about his manhood. And then he proceeded to ask me not to tell anyone. Ha!

I did manage not to tell my mother or the guy I was dating at the time. I didn't want to upset them because I knew they would tell me never to speak to him ever again. I haven't seen him since, but we still text (update: I do not text him and blocked him from all social media). We had this huge conversation and we decided we were cool. I told the guy I had been dating at the time - we had since broken up - about the incident and he was not amused. He said my friend had no respect for me or my then boyfriend. He was right. He also was surprised to hear that the story didn't end with "and then I got out of the car and left." But this is a guy I've known for years. We went to school together. We would stay after school and try to outplay each other on the piano. He would come over to my house and play accordion with my mother. I knew my friend was crazy and inappropriate. I didn't know he would take what I thought was a joke that far. I suppose I'm making excuses for him. But I told him if he ever did anything out of line like that again, I would never speak to him again. No penis talk. No penis jokes. No anything related to penises. So far, so good.  We'll see what happens though...you never can tell what people are capable of.